how to incorporate non kid-friendly activities into a family vacation
It’s no secret that (most) young children are not fond of walking for hours, just looking at the beautiful architecture in a city…or go to a museum and admire the art…or go on a long historical tour of a castle. But that doesn’t mean that we, the parents, don’t want to do it.
Traveling with our babies was not hard and we didn’t have to make a lot of changes in terms of the places we went to see. We would just put them in the stroller or carriers and adjusted our schedule to their naps.
But when they turned into toddlers and publicly started to express their dis-interest in the activities we were doing, we knew we had to make some changes. At first, we did only kid-friendly activities wherever we went, to keep things simple.
But soon I learned that I would return home dissatisfied if I didn’t get to see the things I was interested in. So I started to think of ways to incorporate non kid-friendly activities into our family vacations.
These are the solutions we’ve found so far.
1. take turns doing solo activities
I know, I know – it might not be what you want to hear. We weren’t very fond of this solution at first until we tried it. We really liked ”the idea” of doing everything together as a family, but we soon learned some days would just be a disaster if we insisted on that.
So, we gave the idea of doing solo activities based on interest a change. And you know what? It worked out great! In Vietnam, for instance, I went for a 4 hr long bike tour of Hoi An while Ted stayed at the hotel with the kids and played in the pool. I had a great time by myself and learned lots of things I was interested in, while the kids had a blast at the pool with their dad.
For his turn, Ted rented a scooter and went on the Hai Van Pass in Da Nang, while I took the kids to a play cafe. It was a win-win for everybody.
Similarly, Tavi (my oldest) and I attended a lantern making class with other friends in Hoi An. Roby chose to opt out of it and stayed at the hotel instead. There’s no point in forcing a child to do what you want if they’re not genuinely interested in it.
Of course, this solution won’t work for single parents or people who don’t have a partner. In this case, I advice to look at solution no 2.
2. join a hub of worldschoolers
Worldschooling is a way of teaching your children through travel. It’s becoming more and more popular among digital nomads and full time traveling families to create hubs, as an answer to the need of community.
We’ve joined a few hubs in our travels. Some were organic (people decided where and when to meet, but there were no paid activities and everyone paid for their own accommodations), some were organized (we paid a fee to join and the hosts organized the accommodations and activities).
Some of the hubs are permanent, some are pop-ups (for a week of two). You can find them all over the world.
We love the organic ones in which people just meet up somewhere like the one we joined in Phu Quoc, Vietnam. We created amazing friendships with people who we continued to meet throughout the world.
And one of the benefits of this was that we were able to take turns watching the kids while the other adults went out for dinner or an activity. Or we swapped childcare, so we could go on dates.
This works beautifully for single parents who need community. You will be amazed at how awesome the worldschooling community is!
Note: some of the organic hubs we know of are in Pai (Thailand) in October – January and Koh Lanta (Thailand) January – April.
Also, the small town of La Herradura in Southern Spain hosts a lot of worldschoolers who get together weekly.
3. wake up before your kids do and go out to explore
For activities that are outside or don’t depend on a specific schedule, wake up before your kids do and go out exploring. I did this is Merida (Mexico), where I just wanted to walk leisurely and take in the beautiful architecture; in Isla Mujeres (Mexico), where I wanted to go around the island in our golf cart and stop as many times as I wanted to take pictures; in Vietnam, where I wanted to bike around the rice fields and have my coffee peacefully at my favorite cafe.
I was always back home right after the kids were done with breakfast and then we could go on with our day and plan things they would be interested in.
My husband, on the other hand, likes to sleep in with the kids. So sometimes he’ll go out and explore in the evenings, while I am at the hotel/park/pool with the kids.
4. Take turns playing with them when they get bored
This solution worked really well for us in several instances:
– at Hagia Sofia (Istanbul) they have a big, green space where the kids can run around and play. We took turns going in, while the other one watched the kids outside. It’s more time consuming, but it gets you what you want.
– at the Alcazar in Sevilla, they have gardens and a maze. When the kids started losing interest in the buildings, we took turns running with them outside, going through the maze, playing hide and seek while the other one continue going around the rooms.
– at the Sagrada Familia (Barcelona), they have an awesome park right outside of it. Again, you can take turns visiting the cathedral while the other one plays at the park with the kids.
5. PLAN AHEAD
If the above mentioned solutions don’t work for you, then plan ahead.
I’ve found that the best way to incorporate non kid-friendly activities in our family vacations is to involve the kids in the planning. Let them know what the options are that would interest them and bring up some of yours. Come up with an itinerary. Let’s say ”on day 1, we’ll be too tired to do much, so maybe we can play at the pool and go to a park. On day 2, we could go to this cool children’s museum they have there. I would also like to go to the art museum, which I know might be a bit boring for you. When do you think it’d be a good idea to go? Before/after we go to the children’s museum or should be do it on day 3, right after we wake up, so we’re all nice and rested?”
6. OFFEr to do something simple they like after the ''boring activity''
”Oh, you agree that doing it on day 3 would be best? I think so too! And what do you say we go get ice-cream/watch a movie at the hotel/play at the beach afterwards?”
It’s not bribing them, it’s showing them that a respectful, loving relationship goes both ways.
Do keep up your word even if the kids fail to behave or express how bored they are during the activity. You are not rewarding a bad behavior. Children sometimes fail in spite of having the best intentions. You are merely showing them that your connection with them is not founded on a trip to a museum.
You can say something like ”Well, the trip to the museum didn’t go as planned. Let’s think of a different solution for next time. Maybe less time at the museum? What do you think? What made it hard for you?”
Brainstorming ideas is what will eventually give you the best solutions for your family.
7. Make it fun for them by coming up with scavenger hunts
For well know places, that you can find a lot of information online, like the Coliseum in Rome, or Sagrada Familia (Barcelona), or the Alhambra in Granada, you can come up with scavenger hunts. Make a list of 10 – 15 things they can discover during the visit. Cheer their success when they find them.
Example of some of the things I had on our scavenger hunt at the Alcazar in Seville:
– find a blue balcony
– the the doorways that look like keyholes
– find the maze
– find a peacock
– find the fountain with the statue of a guy in it
– find the underground tunnels
– find the statue hidden by a small, dripping waterfall
– find the statue of Poseidon
– find a lemon/orange tree
The younger the kids are, the more obvious the clues have to be.
8. Make it fun for them by being theatrical
Kids LOVE it when grown-ups pretend they don’t have a clue of what’s happening and they get to explain the situation.
For example, when we visited the ancient city of Butrint in Albania, I pretended to be a time traveler who was very confused about who all those people visiting were, with their weird clothes and shoes. And cell phones and cars? They completely freaked me out! My kids thought it was hilarious and, as they were trying to explain to me how their world worked, I was telling them about my time.
It was lots of fun and we went at it for almost the entirety of the trip.
You just need to familiarize yourself with the history of the place you’re visiting beforehand. Or maybe not, if you’re really good at improvising 😉
9. Go on tours when your kids are at their best (during a day)
Our kids come alive in the evening. As such, some of our best tours/activities have been in the evenings.
Of course, that doesn’t work for everyone, but each parent knows their kid and when they tend to be at their happiest. Try to schedule your visits then and don’t make it too long.
10. cut it short when neccessary
This solution was really hard for me to incorporate, because not only do I suffer from FOMO, but I also hate not finishing something that I started. Being so close to achieving something and having to let go IS SO HARD FOR ME. Like that one time we ALMOST made it to the Fortress of Kotor when my kids decided they were DONE and would not take one more step. It took everything in me to turn around and go back down.
But you know what? I think it’s worth it to show your kids that you listen to their limits and boundaries. Not only that it encourages them to do the same in return (to you or other people), but they also know that it’s ok to try hard things, because if it’s really, really hard for them, mom&dad won’t force them to do it. So they’re more likely to try it again in the future.
11. USE audio books (with headphones on)
Our oldest one went through a phase where he just refused to go to the beach. Like, what?! Luckily, he loves audio books and podcasts, so the solution we found was that he could bring his tablet along and listen to an audio book on the beach.
This also works well for museum visits. Just make sure you use headphones!
*Note: my kids are 7.5 and 6. Some of their favorite audio books are: anything by R.L. Stine (Goosebumps), Magic Tree House and Up-side Down Magic. They listen to them on Audible and Libby.
Some of their favorite podcasts are: Greeking Out, Snoop & Sniffy, R.L. Stine’s Story Club, What IF world (all on Amazon music)
I hope these ideas of how to incorporate non kid-friendly activities in a family vacation will make your next trip better.
If there are other solutions you have come up with, please drop a comment and let me know. I am always up for inspiration from other parents.
Happy travels!